Another Stellar Parenting Moment

Big Sister came up to me today yacking the way the cat does when she's had a dairy product. Clearly, something was about to be puked up. And what could I do but hold out my hands, thump her back, and wait for it? Meanwhile, my mind raced. She had a pencil in her hand. The tip was still on it, so I'm not about to see pencil lead. Did she stick the pencil down her throat? Is it something else? Is it stuck? She seems to be trying to dislodge something. Finally, it appears, with only a little spit, which is good because I really didn't think I could catch much puke in my hands. What I have caught is small and red. It is the pencil eraser.

When she asked to write with the pencil, I anticipated the pencil marks on the play table. I did not imagine eating the eraser. I guess I should have pictured that.

On a side note, did you know that most cats are lactose intolerant? I didn't know it until I had a cat. I try to clean up the food the kids drop on the floor quickly, both because of the lactose intolerance and the cat diabetes, but now that I've mentioned this the cat will probably binge on cheese and puke soon, like tomorrow.

Wash Wash Wash

My husband and I were the last in both our families to have kids. Between us, we have nine nieces and nephews ranging from 3 to 11 years. So I thought I had a pretty good idea what to expect from parenting. I knew about the lack of sleep. I knew about the terrible twos. I knew about the diapers. I once had my nephew shoot poop out at an incredible velocity while I was changing him. I thought I'd seen, or at least heard, it all.

But nobody mentioned the laundry. I guess I should have made the connection. I'd heard that you should always bring a spare outfit for your child and for that matter, for yourself. I just didn't think about the fact that you'd then have to wash all those outfits. I didn't think about the mundane, day-after-day, thunk thunk thunk of the dryer running. I didn't think about always having to check for laundry, and that missing a day tossing in a load after breakfast would mean devoting a day to nothing but laundry.

My two-year-old stays relatively clean now, but the almost-one-year-old is just learning how to eat and some days it seems like we trash an outfit per meal. We had watermelon tonight. It was smeared everywhere, embedded in crevices I didn't know she had. Bibs are useless contraptions.

And it is summer, so we go to picnics and to the pool. This means towels. We play with water on the porch. This means another set of outfits. And a towel. We stomp in puddles when it rains. More clothes to wash.

On my personal list of "what would be effective birth control for teenagers" this is very high. The teenage me would not have wanted to do all this laundry. The adult me doesn't want to do all this laundry.

Your Car Is A Reflection Of ... Something

We're driving to the pool, and I realize that the truck in front of of us has what appears to be a small deer doll impaled on the trailer hitch. The truck is a 4x4 pickup. Didn't trucks used to be 4x4s OR pickups? Anyway, it said 4x4 on it.

We get to the stoplight and the truck stops in front of me, and I see that the little deer is now moving its little hooves up in the air, as if to say "don't shoot" and it has a little red target on its chest. When the light changes, the little deer stops waving its arms.

I told my husband about it and he said "well, some people hate deer as much as you hate mice." I said "yes, but I don't have a mouse mounted on the back of my car." (Should I ???)

The "Don't Shoot" Deer Hitch Critter is frighteningly easy to find via Google, as is its friend the "Flopping Bass Hitch Critter" (for that always attractive "dead fish on your trailer hitch" look.) According to the write-up, "The Hitch Critter will keep your hitch ball and wiring harness clean while not in use for towing." So they aren't just decorative! They have a purpose too!

This is (among) the (many) reason(s) I love my husband

He actually listens to my complaints and tries to respond to them. I told him I hated the way he'd act like childcare required all his energy, and that the remainder of the house would get messed up while he was "watching the kids."

So this morning I came down when he'd been "watching" Big Sister and found he'd cleaned up the kitchen and started the dishwasher.

It was very nice.

Meanwhile I am strangely drawn to this blog of True Wife Confessions. Hmm, some people have some serious communication issues. And yet, I can't stop reading.....