How To Clean Up From A Spaghetti Lunch In 25 Easy Steps

1. START: Both children are in high chairs and are covered in spaghetti sauce and bits of spaghetti. Big Sister announces that she wants to sit on the potty.
2. Take Big Sister out of the high chair, trying to keep her hands and face off your clothes. March her to the bathroom.
   
3. Big Sister announces she wants to sit on the big potty. Put potty insert on the big potty, remove her diaper, sit her down. Offer her a book. She asks you to read the book. Read the book as fast as possible.
4. Little Sister, in the throes of separation anxiety, begins to howl at having been left. Return to Little Sister and attempt to remove ground spaghetti from her face and body. Remove her onesie carefully so the chunks of spaghetti remain attached and don't fall on the floor.
5. Return to Big Sister in the bathroom, and find that she is pulling a large portion of the toilet paper roll into the toilet. Take her off the toilet, which she promptly flushes. The toilet clogs.
6. Close the bathroom door and go after Big Sister, who is running bare bottomed through the house. Put a diaper on her and wipe spaghetti off her hands and face. Wipe Little Sister's hands and face again.
   
7. Tell Big Sister that you cannot read "Eat Your Peas" to her right now; she must wait for you to clean up.
   
8. Notice that the cat, who is diabetic and on a restricted diet, is eating spaghetti off the floor. Chase the cat off and get out Clorox Wipes to clean spaghetti off the floor.
9. While you are cleaning off the floor, Big Sister wanders in, drops "Eat Your Peas" on the floor and announces "I help clean-up." She grabs the Clorox Wipes and fishes one out. Wonder what she will inadvertently bleach. Decide not to care.
10. Finish getting spaghetti off the floor and work on getting it off the chairs. Notice Big Sister wiping her Little Tikes garden with Clorox Wipe. Take booster chair off dining room chair. Wonder if you should have bought a second high-chair rather than use a portable high-chair on the dining room chair.
    
11. Put the cat out as she is meowing loudly.
    
12. Remove base of dining room chair and get Shout Wipe to clean the fabric of it, as Big Sister takes a wipe to the body of the chair saying "I help clean."
13. Clean the dishes and load the dishwasher.
14. Notice Little Sister is crawling across the floor with a piece of foil which used to hold chicken. Realize your husband left the foil on the children't play table. Take away foil.
15. Clean counters.
16. Go upstairs to get a clean shirt for Big Sister, a clean outfit for Little Sister (who is still wearing only a diaper, and a plunger.
17. Change Little Sister and put on a new outfit. Change Big Sister's shirt.
    
18. Plunge toilet.
    
19. Go back and load more dishes. Notice Little Sister is trying to shred the carpet around an outlet which for unknown reasons is in the floor near the door. Move Little Sister.
20. Go back and make sure toilet is functioning.
21. Finish dishwasher loading and attempt to put in dish soap before Little Sister can crawl in.
22. Pick up Little Sister and take her with you as you return the plunger upstairs.
    
23. Return downstairs and finish wiping down counters.
24. Wipe floor again and return "Eat Your Peas" to the book area.
25. Done! Return call from your mother.