These Are Not The Same Baby

My babies at 10 and 11 weeks, respectively.













When L. was born we were shocked at how much she looked like S. They even had the same birthmark over their right eye; a red "stork-bite." They were close in weight, 8 lbs. 9 oz. vs. 8 lbs. 2 oz. explainable by the fact that S. was 10 days past term and L. was a scheduled c-section at 40 weeks. "We had twins 19 months apart," I said.

Because they looked alike, I think I had an irrational expectation that they would act alike. My sister and I are 14 1/2 months apart and we don't act alike, but we don't look alike either.

And maybe it is the "10 month" age, but lately it is very very noticeable that these babies are not the same. S. was a little more demanding as an infant, and L. was a little more mellow, but their positions have reversed. L., I've learned, is a very determined little girl. Techniques that worked flawlessly with S., like distracting her from the carbon monoxide detector with a toy, are futile with L. And when L. doesn't get what she wants, she gets mad. She cries. She gets frustrated. She stays angry.

There are little things. S., from the moment she could roll, rolled back and forth in the bed all night (bringing co-sleeping to an end for us at 15 months). We made a small investment in bed rails with S. We've never used them with L. She stays in one spot unless she's actually looking to nurse. S. also had major feeding problems and went to eating therapy to learn to eat solids. With L. I'm learning what it was we were trying to achieve with S., as she's a poster-child for "age appropriate" eating behavior. The hidden upside of S.'s eating issues was that she almost never put foreign objects in her mouth. L. never stops putting random objects in her mouth.

S. liked to roll around and crawl just for the sheer joy of it. If L. is on the move, she is going to investigate something and you better check what it is.

They still look a lot alike. They both are fascinated by books. They both adore Daddy. They want to be together, and they don't want to be together. They both want what the other one has.

I'm trying to resist the impulse to label them too much. I don't want to say one is the "smart one" or the "nurturing one" or the "one who is good at music" or any of those other categorizations my own mother was a little too fond of. But it is fascinating to see their differences. I look forward to seeing what is next.