Three Years As A Dropout

Today marks three years since I left corporate wonderland (c.w.). I got pregnant within days of leaving c.w., so I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last three years. And that's all. Or it feels that way anyway.

There was that brief foray into teaching for bigonlineuniversity, which was truly miserable and took me about 40 hours a week and paid me $960 for six weeks. You don't need a calculator to know that is well under minimum wage.

My mom talked me into "organizing" her accounts a while back and I got her all set up on Quicken, and she recently told me she hadn't maintained it since. And she didn't pay me. Meanwhile, my obsessive interest in tracking my own accounts in Quicken has completely fallen off the rails.

I've done a little writing, but not as much as I hoped.

I cook a lot. I do a lot of laundry.

Other than that, just been raising kids. Yup, that's all. I wonder where the time goes but then I realize an hour of it went to watercolors this morning, then there was the half-hour for the bath because in order to have the full watercolor experience one must paint one's arms and face. It just slips away in these moments, and they are wonderful moments.

Yet I feel vaguely guilty for not working. I love being with my kids and I don't miss c.w., but I feel like I should be working. Part of this is that I surf while nursing my younger daughter, and there is so much in current media discussing the "opt out revolution" and accusing women who opt out of living "lesser lives" . My life now feels a lot better most of the time, but I'm letting myself be affected by those who think I'm not living up to my potential.

I confess I'm feeling a little down on my three-year anniversary of dropping out. My brother and I are going to a franchise fair this weekend, so maybe evaluating some ideas for my own business will make me either (a) find something else or (b) enjoy what I have more.